Come, Go With Me
by KyrieofAccender
Summary: musical Lily implores Archibald to go on living in order to save their son, even though she must let him go... One-shot.


Hiya all! I've been away from fanfic for entirely too long... I've missed the reviews.

This is about another deformed, tortured man and the woman he loves... not Erik; sorry. ;P I am, however, rather in love with the music of the Secret Garden musical. It's so beautiful, and I'd do anything to play Lily. So, this song comes from listening to How Could I Ever Know? one too many times.

I hope you enjoy it - please leave a review and tell me what you think!

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_Come, Go With Me_

I could not take him with me, no matter how much we both wanted it. I knew that, and I only hoped that he knew as well as I reached out and beckoned him forward. He tried to take my hand, but I kept myself slightly away from him. How could I not?

I am so afraid that he thought I was deliberately avoiding him, but then, he could not know how many times I had tried to take his hand before today, and failed. He could not know how many nights I had tried to curl up beside him like I had before, or wrap my arms around him when he needed me most.

"Lily…" he said softly, reaching for my hand. I had to shake my head, dropping my arm to my side. I forced a smile; he needed me more than I needed him.

"No, Archie," I whispered, keeping my composure only for him. "You know I cannot. We… are no longer in the same place, you and I."

"I can see you," he insisted, sounding almost like a petulant child who had come so close to achieving his goal only to be denied at the last second.

"But I cannot touch you… believe me, my love, I have tried. I never wanted to hurt you so… If I could…" But enough of that. There was nothing to be gained from lingering longingly on the past and on what could not be; both of us had to accept what had happened and move on.

"Come, follow me, love. I will keep you safe… I promise you."

"Lily… where are you leading me?"

"Home," I told him, smiling warmly and turning to lead the way, but he stopped me.

"Wait," he began hesitantly, calling me back. I turned questioningly. "Can't you… Lily… Couldn't I go with you?"

I knew instantly what he meant, and it was immensely difficult to conceal my horrified delight at the idea. To bring him with me… oh, how part of me longed to be beside him again. But I could not. As much as I wanted to, I could not.

"No," I told him quickly, and perhaps a bit too forcefully. He looked at me as though I had once again broken his heart… but I had no choice but to refuse. There was someone who needed him more than I did… and I would not allow my son – _our _son – to wither away and die because his father had finally put his other foot in my grave. "No, Archie, don't you see? Colin needs you. He will die without you… please, for our son's sake, and for your own, let me go."

"I can't, Lily," he insisted, trembling.

"You _can_." I did not add that he had to. Colin was growing stronger, but without Archie, Neville could undo everything that the children had managed to do. How Archie's own brother, who claimed that he loved me, could try to kill our child I will never know… but it didn't matter. If Archibald listened to me now, Colin would be safe. "You can, Archie. I promise you, you can. Colin is a part of me, remember?" Before he could contradict, I smiled and led him home, intending to leave him with that thought. He would be all right if he let himself be.

I could not help but laugh when he tried to buy me a ticket on the train out of Paris. It was difficult to convince him that no one else could see me; perhaps I seemed a little too real. I wished the distance between Paris and Yorkshire was shorter, or that I had never had to rescue Archie in the first place. If I had never left him, none of this would have happened… he would still be happy, and Colin would be well…

Again, I was dwelling on what could not be! I had to stop… for both our sakes. Once he had Colin, he would not need me, and they would both be fine. I had to think that they could both survive without me.

Finally, we were standing at the gate of the garden. Laughter could be heard from inside, and off in the distance, by the grand house, I could see Neville coming towards us. I had to make my farewell brief then, but at least this time I had the chance to say goodbye.

"Are you sure I can't…?" he asked tentatively, and for what I suddenly knew would be the last time. I smiled sadly.

"No, Archie. You are needed here." I would bring you with me if I could, I added silently.

"Archie! Why didn't you cable us that you were coming?" Neville suddenly shouted from the top of the steps that led down to my garden. It was time for me to disappear, but I could not… not just yet.

"I love you," I whispered to him, my composure shaking for the first time. I wanted desperately to throw my arms around him, to at least give my husband, the man I was born to love, a proper goodbye… but I could not. I wanted to hide it, but I knew he saw the tear that slid unbidden down my cheek.

"Lily-" he began, trying to reach out to comfort me, instead of searching for comfort of his own. He _would _be all right without me.

"Go," I told him, stepping back into the shadows just as Neville approached at last.

I followed them into the garden, but Archie could not see me any longer – all he could see was his son, finally standing. Colin and Mary were able to embrace him the way I could not, and I suddenly envied them both. I so wanted to be beside them… but I would have to satisfy myself with being a guardian angel. It wasn't much… but if I could watch them from my garden, if I could keep them safe, then it was enough.

Come to the garden, my love… I will always be there.


End file.
